Tuesday, April 26, 2011

What i am feeling right now.. April 27, 2011

My self esteem has been very low these past few days... that's why i sulk myself onto work most of the time.


I'd rather not talk to anyone about how i'm feeling...


i was a stranger in my own turf...


i was in an unknown dimension...


But one wednesday morning, while i was changing into my uniform, from my morning walk to the office, i find myself crying... 


I finally found a shoulder to cry on, it was with my friend Janice. 


It begun with just a simple sharing of work, duties in the office, that's how we do it everytime we bump into each other.


But because i was at my lowest point, i was not able to control it. I cried while i told her how i feel. i know she wouldn't understand completely, but having to let it out is good enough for me.


I don't want even the very people i work with everyday to see me breaking down, i dont feel like letting them know that i'm tired.
I don't really think what i feel matter to them.


These past few days, i felt like nothing.  


So this is how i am going to be from now on.


I'm not sure if i can do it, but i'll try.


I was always exerting effort to these people to accept me, to belong in this group. But i still feel alone. Even with the very people that i felt i am close.


If this is my reality for now.. so be it... 


I'm going back to my own dimension now....

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