I Had a Dream

Woke up at 2:35am realizing that i was sobbing... but without tears...

I had a dream... a very bad dream...

I dreamed that there was going to be a tsunami in the philippines (Oh God! Please, don't make this happen) and my area will be stricken with it... 

In my dream, i was in an island where the tsunami will first hit..from the beachline, i started to trek to the boulders or rocky part of the mountains to save myself.. I was with lots of people whom i do not know...

Then there was a scene where i was endlessly walking with my mother, to find my kids who were at school. While we were walking, i was fighting with my mother over why she has chosen this particular kid's school (aparently, in my dream, my mother choose my kid's school and it was located on "squatter"-like area and it was my first time to discover it). And i was very angry at her, blaming her and we were arguing where is the best part to be safe..

Then there was a part were i was walking, this time towards a high ground,  to a high building. While walking towards this this building, i was preparing my emergency kits and supplies in my mind, and there was a part where i was blaming my husband for not having spare batteries for the flash lights.

Then there was this part were i was walking and sobbing, like similar to a funeral march ...

This was the part when i woke up sobbing and i can't stop .... I realized i was already awake and i was just dreaming, but i still sobbed some more...

When i opened my eyes, i was relieved...i saw that beside me was kuya karl... then i heard my hubby snoring, which means that he's in the room too (on the other side of the bed), then i looked for  my bunso, whose on the bottom of our bed...

I was relieved when i saw that my family was beside me and Thank God!!! It was just a dream....

But i believe that dreams are what you're subconscious mind is thinking and it just manifest thru dreams... 

So as i am blogging this, i have made some realizations:

1. Tsunami alert at my place. 

  Ever since the Tsunami disaster that struck Japan last March 11, 2011 and reading some articles and videos about the different events happening all over the world are part of the big "End of the World"  prophecy, I as a mother, felt afraid for my family.

I started to have a list of my own disaster plan, just in case. My husband and I, together with our Angels, talked about what to do when disaster strikes. Details like, where to meet and how to get hold of each other, in case we are at work when it happens. We taught the Yayas (who's with my kids, all the time) what to do during and after an earthquake. And we always remind them, to double check the Gas and report to us any electrical faults around the house. 

I also started to collect emergency supplies like canned goods, extra batteries whenever i can. Our mountaineering gears in one container, just in case we needed them for emergency purposes...

I know that i can't control what will happen, and i know that no matter how i prepare myself for it, i will never be. So, with my emergency plan and supplies and gears in place, i still stick to one thing that would give me peace of mind.... PRAYING... 

"Lord God, i ask for your divine guidance for my whole family and loved ones,as well as to all the Filipinos and to all your creations. I believe that you are the only One to deliver us from all uncertainties in this life. I entrust all that i have onto you, My Lord."

2. Argument with my mother and with my Hubby.

In my dream, i was arguing with my mother and with my hubby. In my dream, we are going to be struck by a Tsunami and i was having fight with my most valuable persons in my life. And the reason is because i was blaming them for something, that i should have done myself.

I felt sorry for myself realizing that i have exerted my effort having fights with them in my dream, instead of asking for their forgiveness, during that time. It made me feel bad.

This made me realize...In this state of my life, i believe that i have not hurt someone else and that i have expressed my love to all my family in every way that i can. But, this should not stop me for being giving and forgiving. 

3. Looking for my Kids.

In my dream, in the part where i was looking for my Kids, i felt very low...and helpless... In times of trouble, i want... i needed to be with my source of strength and peace of mind, my family. I saw myself helpless and sad...  

Again, this made me realized that, no matter what my standing in life, no matter how far my accomplishments in life, no matter how many material things i have, no matter how much money i have in this life.... It is of no meaning, if i am not with My Family.

My family...The very reason i am living..

4. Funeral March

In my dream, i was following a funeral march. And this made me think about my own funeral and what tribute statment i want to receive from my love ones.. (An assignment we made from my last Leadership training) and this is what i wrote...

As a Daughter, i want to be remembered as a Thankful and appreciative daughter


As a Sister to my brothers, i want to be remembered as a Supportive Sister


As a Friend, i want to be remembered as a Good example, confidant and adviser


As a Wife to Melvin, i want to be remembered as a Supportive and self-giving wife.


As a Mother to my kids, i want to be remembered as a Good provider
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It's a little morbid, thinking about my own death, but it's one way of thinking how you want your life to be... the way you want to live it... than just living it without purpose...




This dream has definitely awaken me from my real purpose. It's a bit scary but made me realize many things about how i should live my life..