To my mother....

May 8, 2011, Mother's day...

You can never really appreciate a person, not until, you were in their shoes....

I can never express how much i appreciate my mom, especially now, that i have become a mother myself...

Now, i can never imagine, or even believe, how my mom was able to endure all the hardship, just to give all that we need in life...

My mom had to leave us, when i was as young as 3 years old, my younger brothers where 2 and 1 year/s old then.

I would secretly cry whenever we bid goodbye to her at the airport. Even at a young heart, i felt and long for my mother...

Years passed, my mom worked miles away from us, while dad took care of us. Dad and mom was strong and determined to give us a good life, even if it means sacrificing their times together...

When i got to college, i decided to go into a public school,but mom insisted on a private one, considering my safety and quality education i would get, withstanding the additional years she had to work alone, away from us.

When my brothers and i graduated, and we can take care of ourselves, she decided to retire and stop working abroad.

It was her time to rest and let us live our lives on ourselves. It was time mom and dad retire from taking care of us, and its time to take care of each other.

When i got pregnant, but not yet married, it broke her heart. I felt it. I disappointed her. I know she wanted it right. So i promised to make it right. And with her guidance, i was able to build a family of my own.

When she retired, i secretly vowed that i would take care of her, but having a family of my own, i was not able to fulfill that promise, instead, she still took care of me. In her own little (and big) ways, she still take care of us. She still make her love felt in all ways possible...

and She would always be our shoulder to cry on...

She would be our rock, where we built our faith upon. Her strong faith, kept us closer and a believer to The Creator.

Even at 50+ she still manage to help me take care of my family. She is always a reliable person when i needed some support group at home.

She would give unsolicited and frank advises, that never fails to clears my mind.

As a mother myself, i couldn't imagine how i could be like my mom. She was a divine example of a mother.

But i owe it to her, more than i owe it to myself. To become a good mother, like what she is to us.

To my mother, Florenda F. Reyes, i love you. I appreciate you. I adore you. You are a blessing to everyone, especially to us. I can never express how grateful i am to all that you gave us.

I can only give it back, by being a good mother to my kids and to be a good wife to my husband, as you have set as an example to us.

I love you mommy... and thank you... very much...

Last day of Biggest Loser Challenge 2

May 2, 2011 is the last day of the Biggest Loser Challenge 2.

"17 lbs. Lost!!"

i have definitely come a long way from the 1st day of this challenge.

Current weight: 58.2 kgs

Day 1 weight: 64.6 kgs

Total weight lost: 6.4 kgs

Wowowowow!

This is something to be proud of. This was not an easy feat. But i still conquered it. And i won.

I may not reached my target weight lost (10kgs) but i'm getting there, and it's not so far, from this point.

Also, im also getting a lot of positive feedback from friends, that i significantly lost weight. 

1. My mommy tummy is obviously smaller now. Which is my main problem for all my life..

2. I am more buff and physically strong, due to the resistance and cardio training that i was able to do and maintain.

3. And lastly, i am only 3 kgs overweight from my ideal weight, for my current weight and age.

4. Plus, i have proven the most effective way of losing weight, without spending too much.

All i have to do is gradually lose some more to reach the additional target weight lost of 3 kgs, then maintain. That's a promise.

But for now, all i could think of is my craving for ice cream. 

By lunch, i bought my very first choco java cornetto!!!

What i am feeling right now.. April 27, 2011

My self esteem has been very low these past few days... that's why i sulk myself onto work most of the time.


I'd rather not talk to anyone about how i'm feeling...


i was a stranger in my own turf...


i was in an unknown dimension...


But one wednesday morning, while i was changing into my uniform, from my morning walk to the office, i find myself crying... 


I finally found a shoulder to cry on, it was with my friend Janice. 


It begun with just a simple sharing of work, duties in the office, that's how we do it everytime we bump into each other.


But because i was at my lowest point, i was not able to control it. I cried while i told her how i feel. i know she wouldn't understand completely, but having to let it out is good enough for me.


I don't want even the very people i work with everyday to see me breaking down, i dont feel like letting them know that i'm tired.
I don't really think what i feel matter to them.


These past few days, i felt like nothing.  


So this is how i am going to be from now on.


I'm not sure if i can do it, but i'll try.


I was always exerting effort to these people to accept me, to belong in this group. But i still feel alone. Even with the very people that i felt i am close.


If this is my reality for now.. so be it... 


I'm going back to my own dimension now....

Day 71 of Biggest Loser Challenge 2

April 25, 2011 is the 71st day of Biggest Loser Challenge 2, Monday.

"Last 7 days"

Back to work week, but i have to take a half day leave at work because my youngest son was sick. Maybe from the 12-hour travel and heat of the summer sun. 

When i got to the office, it was time for the 2nd to the last official weigh-in. And as expected, i was not able to lose much weight. But better losing a little than gaining big... 

For the next 7 days, i will be strict with my diet. I'm planning to have pure vegetable and fruits diet until the end of the week. But i need to still eat breakfast to sustain me through my work day. 

Here's my health regimen for this week:

 - 33 minute walk to the office in the morning

 - pack lite breakfast before 9am

 - lunch and dinner will be 1 pineapple 

 - lots of water

If i have a jogging buddy during after office jog, maybe i will. But i'm not counting on it. These past few days, my team mates have been laying low on workout, however, i'm not sure if they are working out on their own. 

I'm also looking forward to more OT this week onwards, so less workout for me. So i need to control my diet and see to it that i have healthy supply of food while at work, so as not to easily tempted to buy food anywhere that would ruin my diet.

Good luck on the last few days of the challenge!

Day 67-70 of Biggest Loser Challenge 2

April 21-24, 2011 is the 67th to 70th day of Biggest Loser Challenge 2, Thursday - Sunday.

"Time-out"

It was just a simple summer. But it was special.

My 2 boys were already staying with their grandparents for 3 weeks, and when i saw them this thursday morning, their sun burned skin was evidence that they are having fun with Lolo and Lola.

For the last 3 days, my diet includes pakbet, tinapa, itlog na pula with kamatis, paksiw na sili, inihaw na tilapia, paksiw na tilapia, pritong tilapia, sinabawang suso(snail).

I forgot when i last ate authentic ilocano delicacies, so when my mom cooked everything that i missed, i dived in. Forgetting that i was on a diet. Haha!

My kids enjoyed harvesting tilapia from their Lolo's fish pond. I can see the spark in their eyes whenever their fishing net was so heavy with their "huli". Kent would jump with enjoyment whenever we transfer the harvest to the collecting basket.

Hubby would volunteer to grill the fishes straight from the fish pond. and we would snack on the fish with bagoong dip while we wait for the rest of lunch to arrive, while under the sun. 

Hubby also brought his fishing gadgets and taught the boys how to setup bait and fish. My boys didn't mind the heat of the sun, while eagerly waiting for their catch. 

On our last day, my boys dived into the mud-like waters of the fish pond to get snails, shells and shrimps for our baon to Manila. It was hard to get them out of the water.

Saturday night came and we had to go back to Manila. 

I felt the sadness in my Karl's eyes that he have to leave lolo behind. It touched my heart that in 3 weeks, lolo has been his very special companion and lolo has taught him well about feeding the chicken in the morning, feeding the dogs every after meal, harvesting tilapia whenever their is a buyer.  Kuya Karl has been lolo's constant companion everytime. And while our bus was leaving the station, Karl's eyes were flowing with tears, never wanting to leave.

I was touched that he even told me to say a short prayer for lolo and lola and all his cousins that he left in Isabela... And so i did. 

karl with covsins

While our bus left Isabela, karl and I talked about his 3-week stay in the province. I can see in his eyes that he really enjoyed his stay. 

Even it was only a 3-day vacation for me, it was worth it. Any little time away from work was worth it.


With all the holidays gone, its back to work week again. I just hope, reality would be nicer to me this time around...

Day 64-66 of Biggest Loser Challenge 2

April 18-20, 2011 is the 64th to 66th day of Biggest Loser Challenge 2, Monday-Wednesday.

"Last 2 weeks"

Monday, April 18.

Today, I am marking the last two weeks of my challenge, Unfortunately, with a .3 kgs weight gain. Geez!

I'm beginning to get tired of my diet. I was starting to crave for chichirya, ice cream, cheeseburger...and many many more..hayys I am also afraid that i might be pregnant...oh-oh..

Monday Breakfast : Adobong Kangkong with Baked Cream Dory fish.

Lunch: 1 pack of Crunchos (Junkfood)  After getting my 45 minute sleep during my lunch break, i suddenly craved for chichirya, so i opened one and dive! Not myself today...

 

Since we have only 2.5 working days ahead, i worked, talked to no-one in the office (for non-work related topics only), went home late.

No work-out.

No morning walk.

Oh-no! I'm feeling a little out of it. Out of the diet, out of workout. My body feels heavy and tired. I slept during lunch breaks and eat dinner.

This is not the way to end my diet.. I'm afraid i might have gained weight already...

Hayyysss....

Wait! There's more! When i got home monday night, hubby requested me to cook Pad thai, so i cooked one serving and we shared. hayyss..

Monday Dinner: 1 cup of Pad Thai

Tuesday, April 19.

Breakfast: 1 cup ginisang talong sa alamang, 1/2 rice

Lunch: 1/2 pina

Pm Snack: 1 egg sandwich

Dinner: 1/2 pineapple

I cant remember happening significant for me today other than work. I was again the one who closed our department and went home at around 11pm.

Wednesday, April 20.

Breakfast: 1 serving of Fish curry

Lunch: 1 whole pineapple.

Halfday at work but stayed until 3pm to offset work for the coming holidays.


With the Pulag climb being canceled, i am looking forward to my 3-day vacation in Isabela with my family.


Hubby and I are leaving tonight.


PM Snack: 1 order of Goldilucks fresh lumpia. 


I bought 1 order of fresh lumpia after i went to the grocery for our baon for our 12-hour trip to isabela. 


Dinner: a little of rice, a little of tinapa, a little of tomato, a little of spaghetti


I ate dinner while standing at the bus station while waiting for our 9:50pm trip. I prepared tinapa and sliced tomato and hubby bought rice and spaghetti from jollibee and we shared our dinner with my younger brother, whose also waiting for his bus as chance passenger.

By 10:00pm, we were Isabela-bound.

Day 63 of Biggest Loser Challenge 2

April 17, 2011 is the 63rd day of Biggest Loser Challenge 2, Sunday.

 

"Iskolar ng Rebisco"

Part of my ongoing project in the office (the project i was wining about from my previous week's posts) was a technical training for Linux. Since my team will be in-charge of the development and administration, we need to be familiarized with Linux. So we have no choice but to submit ourselves to this training. 

So with overtime work during weekdays, a possible work on saturdays, and now, a sunday training. hayysss..

However, i just looked at it as an opportunity to be better at my craft. I just have again to sacrifice my sunday bonding time with the family... So much for living my life in balance....

So by 6:30am, i ready myself for school. Hubby was so supportive of me that he volunteered to cook breakfast. I was so in a hurry i forgot to take pictures.

Breakfast: 1 small tilapia (fried), 1 1/2 cup of togue (ginisa)

I was at UPITTC by 9am. I was late, but the instructor was super late. I think he arrived around 10am. Introduction to the course and methodologies lasted till lunch.

By 11:30, lunch was served. Part of the training fee was overflowing coffee, lunch and pm snack. More reason not to go on a diet.  Good thing that the caterer let us choose between meat or fish viands, so i choose the latter and took home the rice they provided. 

 

Lunch: 1 medium daing na bangus (fried) with 1/2 cup ginisang beans as side dish. 1 small glass of iced tea.

During the training, i think i drank 2 cups of coffee.. i had to fight the sleeplessness that was engulfing me through the day, and after my last cup, i felt a migraine kicking in, so i limit it to just 2 cups.

PM Snack: 1 egg-wheat sandwich, 1 coffee

Snack served was iced tea and choice of ensaymada or mamon. I got my mamon, put it in my bag for hubby's pasalubong, and ate the egg sandwich that i packed instead. 

By 5:15pm i was heading home, i decided to rode a jeep from Pilcoa to fairview and that i later on regret.  The migraine went full blast because of the stressful commute along Commonwealth ave. The jeepney driver stops at all possible stops and the jeep was so open to pollution ( i think i topped my carbon intake for the rest of my life with this 30-minute ride alone).  

Even with a migraine, i still decided to go to church. It was Palm sunday so i was obliged to attend mass...Unfortunately, the palaspas vendor run out of palaspas so i was not able to buy one for the house. 

The Mass homily was good. As a start of the Holy week the priest preeched about how we should love... The priest played the Nestle 100 years commercial (yes! our church has a projector..hehehe). The commercial was about a love that lasted 100 years, just like nestle. According to the priest, this is how we should love... with loyalty to your partner, developmental and with salvific sacrifice ( or giving of oneself).

Nice way to start the holy week.

 

When i got home, hubby cooked fried chicken. I could never remember when was the last time i ate one, so digged in. Along with it, i ate the left over sinigang vegetables while watching Talentadong pinoy.

Dinner: 1 bowl of sinigang vegetables, 1 pc of fried chicken