Miracles do Happen..... It happened to me....

A year and a half today, i went back to my blog. Never have posted anything since i cannot remember when. Then i saw this unfinished post, it was about my Dad's Miracle. A colleague wanted me to write about it coz we cried when i told them the story and to give hope to those who need it and to let readers know that miracles do happen... I forgot about it until now...

So, I am posting it now.. the part 1 of it.. This gave me reason to blog again...


God Makes Miracles Happen thru His Angels

Just this year, my family have been a witness to so many miracles from Him. My dad was diagnosed by a 3 vessel coronary artery disease and he badly needed a Triple heart bypass.

July last year, my dad experienced severe chest pain at home, alone. At around 11pm, alone in our house in Matusalem,Roxas Isabela, he suddenly felt a heavy chest and cant move due to pain. He was alone because my mom was with my family here in Manila. They sacrificed being apart to help their kids. Dad dont want to leave his "bukid" since this is their primary source of income as retired senior citizens.

That episode happened twice that month. My dad normally dont want to go to the doctor but when he ask mom to accompany him to the doctor, we knew it was serious...

August to December was a series of check-ups, laboratory and maintenance medication. But despite being monitored by his internal doctor, he still felt pain even during late hours of night. We would be awaken by the lights in their room in late in the night. Dad is restless due to chest pain and mom is worried.

Finally, his internist advised that he undergo Angiogram, it is an xray of the heart that will confirm suspected blockages in his heart.

His angiogram showed 3 major artery that are 100% disfunctional. The left xray showed the normal blood flow, while the right showed my dad's xray. Even if i am not a "medical" person, i can see that there's a problem... 

Immediately after the angiogram, the cardo doctor who did the procedure talked to us and this is when we knew he has 3 vessel coronary artery disease and he needs Coronary Artery Bypass Grafting or simply Heart Bypass or CABG (medical term).

The next logical question was How Much? And the doctor told us the procedure is worth P750,000.00. Our shoulders and jaws dropped all at the same time....
But the doctor said procedures like this can be applied with Philhealth, and we could apply for Philhealth's Z benefit program where in they will shoulder P550K of the procedure. We had hope.

On the next checkup, the doctor explain how can we avail of the Z benefit program. We had papers to sign,laboratory procedures to repeat and clearances to acquire. It was a long list of  to-dos but its the only option we know we can do. So step 1 was to acquire all all documents to fill, 2nd is to be oriented on the procedure.
During step 2, we received the bad news, so bad, it shattered all our hearts into pieces... The Philhealth personel checked the requirements that we have, she saw our 2D echo results and i could see in her face "Bad News" tattooed over her forehead. I could feel it.
She went inside, we waited outside the waiting area, minutes after, we saw our cardiologist rushing inside where the girl was. I felt something bad is going to happen...

Then our cardiologist went out of the door, in his hands were all our papers and folders, went straight to us and delivered the news.... "Hindi po tayo nakapasa sa Z-benefit" was all i could ingest from his words.

Apparently, Philhealth only allowed "Standard-Risk" patients into the program. Dad was "HIGH-RISK". His 2D Echo indicated that a portion is heart is already not moving, similar to a wound scar tissue, this was due to the limited supply of oxygen/blood to the left portion of the heart.

So..
High risk case -- needed by-pass immediately -- no P700k on hand...
... it was like the world fell on our shoulders, blood left our faces kind of a reaction...
i dont want to look at the faces of my parents , we were all devastated...
..i felt pressured at that moment, i need to think of how to give them hope in this trying desperate time..

I returned to our doctor's office the next day, determined to find other options to our situation.
He offered me to avail of the Phil Heart Center package for CABG for P700K  as a private patient. If i am going to avail of the package, i have to make a 50% down payment before they do the procedure.

But still we don't have even P350K???? Is that an option??? OMG!!! My mind panicked...

I didn't know how i switched the conversation around, but i told him straight-face, sincerely, i think with a little teary eyed, "Doc, wala kaming ganyang pera..."

I would like to believe that he genuinely would like to help, because he started to write down doctor endorsement in five pages. And with her secretary advised that i could reach out to different agencies and politician thru this letter.

So that's the plan, i will solicit help from agencies, politicians and who ever is willing to help, and i will return to him when i have P350K... then that's the only time we can have the operation...

Gosh!!

I cannot contain in me the devastation,  the heart-breaking news... i have to let it out... I cant tell my parents i cant do it.  As the "Äte" of the family, i was pressured to make this happen..


Due to desperation, i succumb myself to pressure and vent out my frustrations in FB. I cant help but be frustrated with how can't the government provide free medical service to us, tax payers.  I also felt helpless at the moment for not preparing well for this moment financially.

I prayed and prayed for wisdom.

Prayed hard...


.. to be continued..

A year later

1am in the morning of January 6, i woke up, and couldn't get back to sleep, so tried fb--boring... and then a familiar feeling enveloped me...

I began typing momyjorayma on the browser address and suddenly remembered i had a blog.

Almost a year ago was my last blog post, so sad actually... And so i realize, i needed to write something..

Something that is bothering me, but i cant make anything out of it...

Maybe because of the previous happenings ...

I had a date with my dad, right after we send off my mom and nieces to the bus station, my dad and i decided to stroll the city...

And we had little chats in between..

He mentioned his take on what's happening to him in the province, my mom's personal challenges and some other stuff...

And then we went home...

And then suddenly, all those little details enveloped me, i felt a sudden sadness in me... I wanted to take away their hurt and make their life easy...

That's it! I feel i am responsible for their misery.. and i dont know who to make it better...

I have been so very busy with my own life, that i have forgetten to take care of them. Time really passess by so fast and i felt time is slowly taking their good health and i cannot do anything about it...

And i told myself, nobody can better this situation but me...

I love them, and i will do everything i can to make their life better... starting now...

Lord God, the Giver of these lives we are living, may you please give my parents more years to live. Please use me as your instrument of making their lives better. Give me the strength to be their support, in times that they need it. And give me the wisdom that i may know what to do at times that we are challenged..

Life is not easy, i know, but with You on my side, there's nothing i can't handle. Amen.

The Year That Was 2012

2012 was a challenging year for me...

i wasn't even sure if i want relive and blog it, but doin' it would mean i am over it and i have to move on...

it was a year of new hope, but then again, it disappeared...
it was a year where i gained new profession, yet still no accomplishments...
it was a year of trials that i thought would never stop...

As i do every start of the new year, i have to evaluate all aspects of my 2012 and move from there... After a month that i only realized that i am ready to do this...

Let's see how i did...

Spiritualy -- it was challenging. I was thrown in the face with may challenges that questioned by very core. There are times that i myself questioned the reasons why life is given and yet to be taken away... When i was given hope, it has to be taken away...

But through the lost of my child, my faith was strengthen... And after the long list of questions, i began to realize that all that had happened was for the good.  However painful, until now, lessons have been learned. I just have to accept that i have learned it the hardest way...

Physically -- No good. I have gained double digit pounds. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I honestly look like a manang with match bulging tummy. All i needed was to be in a "daster" and i am all set.

Because of my emergency cesarian and apendectomy, i am not advise to perform any strenuous activities. And as my natural slow metabolism and love to eat, i gained weight, Unfortunately. My only consolation are my 2 boys enjoyed playing with my tummy and it makes them smile.. they might have thought that i have eaten na very large gelatin and it stayed on mama's tummy...

Emotionally -- Insane. The many downs made me so vulnerable to any situation. I cry to a very lame scene on my TV. I can easily look at something and cry. I can never count how many sleepless nights i have and was just crying. I feel i am loosing sanity. Am i?

Intellectually -- Last year, i have gained knowledge on how i can be a Financial Advisor. I learned about insurance and mutual funds.

And also i realized, that being a programmer and a financial adviser doesn't go together. The busy schedule of a programmer didn't gave me enough time to talk to clients and meet my quota...So i guess, in the long run, i have to choose what i love the most... not yet anyway...

Sexually - Satisfied. Period.

Financially -- Still Challenging.Our obligations for our new house started this year and we have to adjust and religiously stick to our budget, if we want to stay together...

It's hard to realize that you know where to put your money for investment, yet you have no money to invest. So still, i continue to dream and dream until i am able to start...

Hoping and praying to be in good financial standing by end of next year...



If i have to grade and sum up my 2012, it's not a good year... We were bombarded by so may trials, we were working like cows yet savings are minimal.. It was our all-time low...yet we are still standing up and facing life as it come... hoping and really really praying hard that the next year would be a better one...

Godspeed!

How I Can be a Legend, like Ray-ban.

I am way way below Ms. Cheyser Pedregosa  of  www.thewalkingrecessionista.com. I am but a simple woman. Who want simple life. But is dreaming BIG big time.


I want to spread LOVE LOVE LOVE all over to whoever needs it. Because i believe, LOVE is all that matters in this world.


Like Ray-ban, this is how i am gonna be a legend. On my own doin' and actions. In my own time.


Simple yet Legendary.


(Post inspired by http://www.thewalkingrecessionista.com/2012/11/twr-x-ray-ban-legends-giveaway.html)

Keep dreamin'

If i Will be Given a Super Power, What will it Be?

November 9, 2012, during a training that i attended, we were tasked to answer this question : If given a super power, what will it be? And my thoughts were....

Last November 4, during the church mass our parish priest shared a story about John. During his journey as a desciple, John was asked: "If all books in the world would be burned, what should be saved?" John said, The Bible, of course.

"What if The Bible was also burned, What part in the bible would you save?" John answerd "The book of John".

"If the book of  John will also be burned, What chapter would you save?" John answered "Chapter 3!".

"If the chapter 3 also burned, What verse would you save?" John answered: "John Chapter 3 Verse 16: For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

"If John Chapter 3, Verse 16 would also be burned, What word will you save?" John answered: "LOVE. FOR IT WAS ALL THAT WE NEED."

And i nodded in agreement... Wouldn't you??!  If the world would have been all LOVE, the world would have been a beautiful world...

So, if i am given a super power, it will not to be invinsible or to have a super strength, but the SUPER POWER TO GIVE LOVE TO EVERYONE and that's it!, life would be beautiful to be lived. I would remove all the negativity in this world and just spread LOVE... it is really ALL THAT WE NEED.

God speed!

Secrets To A Lasting Marriage

Excerpt from
By Yahoo! Special Projects | Fabulous Mom – Mon, Feb 13, 2012 10:58 AM PHT


By Pierra Calasanz-Labrador for Yahoo! Southeast Asia

 A day after Valentine's day, this post was in my Yahoo! News, and i definitely agree on it's content... So, i am reposting, hoping to share my own experiences related to this post. Maybe somebody can be enlightened...

My hubby and I are only married 7 years, but our marriage has been tested by all kinds of marital issues, and i'm proud to say, that we have conquered them all. However, still afraid of issues to come, but with constant learning and loving... i believe we can conquer them all.

You vowed to love each other for better or for worse, till death do you part…but how do you keep these promises from sounding like a death sentence when the honeymoon is over?

Happily married couples often share that the secret to their longevity is treating their spouse as their lover as well as their best friend. For a professional perspective on making relationships go the distance, we chatted with Pilar Tolentino, Executive Director of Center for Family Ministries (CEFAM).

Be pro-active about your issues
Gone are the days when couples counseling meant you were headed for splitsville. Instead of being confused by conflicting unsolicited advice, many modern couples seek professional or spiritual guidance from a neutral third party. Tolentino shares: "There are different reasons couples come to counseling: the need for clarification on certain issues like parenting, roles and expectations; because of a current crisis like accidents, death, or financials; or to find healing like in cases of infidelity. A common factor is to seek assistance in understanding, accepting, and healing a current situation that is causing pain or confusion in the relationship."

May 2009, when we humbly seek the support of parents and attended a Marriage Encounter Weekend. That time i was kicking him out of the house and wanted separation, then i saw a post from a Forum about it and tried it. Hoping for 2nd chance for our marriage. Even if i was so angry at him, i still gave our marriage a 2nd chance. And true enough, these people are still our support group. We were able to share our problems with them, without them judging us, and guide us through their advises and support. It was not a bad decision to seek support, to open to those who knows better, even our parents are good support groups however based on experience, its very hard to open up to them because you dont want them seeing you on your lowest point.

So go, find your own support group, even at the moment, you dont have marital issues at hand. Most of the time, God will send his Love thru these people....




The element of surprise
Every so often, do something unexpected to keep the passion alive. Says Tolentino, "Simple thoughtful acts—like surprise visit to his/her office for a lunch date, love-notes, weekend getaways, cooking special meals, giving gifts even when there's no occasion, a soothing massage—can add flavor to daily routines as a couple."

My hubby dont shower me with gifts, because we agreed to keep it simple. We are both mountaineers and from that we learned to live with what we have and what is only essential. But, with this kind of lifestyle, we learn to appreciate the simplest things that we do for each other. A simple coffee time shared on saturday mornings... Sunday Lunch with the family... Hubby fetching me from the office... A walk around the neighborhood... A once in a while movie date...All this simple things, when remembered are very special and touching..

Put your partner before your pride
Instead of playing the blame game, put yourself in your spouse's shoes and see the situation from his point of view. Review your Corinthians 1:13. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

In one homily that i attended, the priest sermoned about how married couple should set aside pride..Without asking who pays the bills, or who gives the bigger income to the marriage or who's more correct.. that time i was already contemplating on sending hubby abroad because he's not giving enough, but this made me realize, there are things that he do that compensate his shortcomings..i maybe the biggest contributor financially, but most of the time i dont have time to do things that a mother/wife should be doing because of work... and i realized our marriage worked because we compensate each other, so why ruin this situation when we can work together to make our marriage better....

Cool off before saying something hurtful
Newlyweds are always advised to "never let the sun set on an argument," but when you're boiling mad, someone's definitely sleeping on the couch. Tolentino shares, "It's probably not literally 'sleeping angry,' but do not let an argument go unresolved. Dialogue when each of you has cooled down. If an agreement is not yet possible at that point, at least acknowledge and respect the spouse's feelings. Seek assistance, like counseling, if this will help." Sometimes, it's the seemingly innocuous little arguments that can snowball into one big disaster. Tolentino says: "Breakdown of marriages usually happens when 'minor' conflicts are not addressed. These 'minor' problems can build up negative emotions."

In one of our marital fights, i tend to bring out again older issues, and these brings out previous hurt. Sometimes i forgot that we already resolved these issues and argue on it again... and it brings out the same hurt again... Sometimes, its better to forget these things from the past and just remember the good memories... when u matture you begin the master the art of understanding your husband and instead, focus on your life ahead

Don't assume your partner is a mind-reader
Many people don't know how to express their feelings, or worse, expect that their partner should know what they want. "It is important that openness and communication is encouraged in the relationship. Set aside time for just the two of you at least once a week. Give your spouse your full attention; listen without judgment. Remember that communication is two-way."

Hayyy... this is one thing i always forget.. Minsan,i am so stressed with things about the house, financials or stressed that i cry at night, i felt alone in facing our family problems and issues... And then i get mad at my husband for not helping me ... But when the anger subsides, i will realize that he will never understand because he really has no idea what im going through unless i tell him... So, i lessen the time to be a drama queen and practiced how to be open with him...

Show your appreciation daily
A marriage's silent enemy is being taken for granted. Don't wait till bitterness sets in before you try to "bring back that loving feeling." Everyday, pay your spouse a sincere compliment, show your gratitude, and express your affection. "Remember the things you value about your marriage and the good traits of your spouse. This will help reaffirm your commitment and strengthen you in facing the challenges that may come your way. Make an effort to make your spouse feel important, appreciated, and loved. Love has to be expressed."

My hubby and I dont practice telling each other i love you's and i miss you's. So minsan, when i am upset or stressed saying these things can lessen the negative feelings... When we make love, he tells me to caress him more or ask me to tell him i love him and it give me the feeling that he needs me pala to tell this things and so when im in the mood, i make him feel that way..and most of the time, it gives me a good feeling kasi no negative vibes between us.


Grow (old) together
Getting married doesn't mean giving up your individuality. When you're in a relationship that allows for personal growth, you each bring something to the relationship. Tolentino puts it this way: "One main element in a happy marriage are two happy individuals. Each one must give importance to the well-being of the other. Each one must be supported, respected, affirmed, appreciated and loved."  However, don't forget to enjoy shared activities as well, so that you grow together.

 Sometimes, when you are at your senti moment, naiisip mo, baket ba sya yung binigay sayo ni Lord... and when you ask your self these questions, you will get your answer... You will realize that your partner compliments you.. and completes you.. and then you'll realize, you want to grow old with him. 

The advice Tolentino dishes most often is this: "Remember that you are partners. Appreciate each one's contribution in strengthening the relationship, respect each other as equal, look out for the well-being of the other as you would for yourself." Bottomline: with love, affection, laughter, faith, limitless patience and mutual respect, your relationship can deepen after the honeymoon and you can look forward to living happily EVEN after.

Contact CEFAM at phone +63 2 4264289 — 92, email <cefam_ed@yahoo.com.ph> or <www.cefam.ph>.

The Word of the Lord this October 14, 2012

8am, went to church with the family.....

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God"

The priest started his homily by asking the church "Sinong mahirap dito?" and almost all raised their hands including me, without hesitation.

And then my youngest son Kenneth, asked me "Mayaman ba tayo mama?" and i honestly dont know what to answer, but i nodded to a Yes.

And i listened on... and some part of the sermon that i remember that made me realized, I am not poor.. and i am not rich either.... i realized that I am BLESSED....everyday of my life...

The only poor people are those that eat once a day or sometimes not at all... While me and my family eats 5 times a day, sometimes 7 with midnight snack and early coffee morning  included..

The only poor people are those who have no home to shelter them... While me and my family has 2 houses, one where we stay and the other we rented out for additional income...

The only poor people are those alone, with no body to share or take care of them.. While i am well taken care of by my husband and i have a beautiful family close to me...

When the priest told this poor conditions, that i am not in, he told me, those who raised their hands when he asked if "Sinong Mahirap?" were hipocrites... me included....

And at the back of my mind, it made me realized... "OO nga no..." Napakaraming blessings na binigay skin ni Lord, pero ang nasa isip ko ay Mahirap pa rin ako...

Walking home, i realized, i have to treasure all the blessings that is being given to me... I may not have a grand house, but i still have a house that i can call home and a family that gives me happiness bar none.

Indeed... I am BLESSED...

Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint Mark 10:17-30.
As Jesus was setting out on a journey, a man ran up, knelt down before him, and asked him, «Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?»
Jesus answered him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone.
You know the commandments: 'You shall not kill; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not bear false witness; you shall not defraud; honor your father and your mother.'"
He replied and said to him, "Teacher, all of these I have observed from my youth."
Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said to him, "You are lacking in one thing. Go, sell what you have, and give to (the) poor and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me."
At that statement his face fell, and he went away sad, for he had many possessions.
Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!"
The disciples were amazed at his words. So Jesus again said to them in reply, "Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God!
It is easier for a camel to pass through (the) eye of (a) needle than for one who is rich to enter the kingdom of God."
They were exceedingly astonished and said among themselves, "Then who can be saved?"
Jesus looked at them and said, "For human beings it is impossible, but not for God. All things are possible for God."
Peter began to say to him, "We have given up everything and followed you."
Jesus said, "Amen, I say to you, there is no one who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands for my sake and for the sake of the gospel
who will not receive a hundred times more now in this present age: houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and eternal life in the age to come.

Best Things in Life are Free from Sony Xperia

Hubby and I bought our phone 2 years ago, as our birthday gift for each other..

And because of life's different challenges, plans of upgrading our phone was put on hold.

We both badly needed an upgrade, as i would say to him.

With his birthday coming, it would be a awesome to surprise him with a new phone....

I hope i win...

www.yugatech.com/contests/yugatech-giveaway-own-this-sony-xperia-p/

Best things in life are Free from LittleMissKessa

I just came across this promo, and i remember what my mother love very much... Hush Puppies ...

When she was still working abroad she would always wait for Hush puppies to be and sale.. and until now after 10 years after retiring, she still wears her red Hush Puppies sandals even if its faded and old...

If i win this contest, i will buy her new sandals from her favorite brand. This brand has been tested for quality and nice designs.  For sure, a new pair would definitely make her smile...

Mom..this one's for you....

http://www.littlemisskessa.com/2012/07/its-raining-gift-certificates.html

Why do you deserve to win a Php10,000 wardrobe showcase from Howards Storage World?

 This is my official entry to the Howard Storage World + Dainty Mom Wow Your Wardrobe Contest.

My life of 34 years have accumulated through my things.. From being a traveller and mother, you can see from my stuff that i am a keeper... hahaha.. "Keeper of Kalat" . I wanted to take a picture of my cabinet, but thank God i cant find my memory card, i decided not to devulge too much of my "Kalat" in cyber space... i decided to keep my reputation intact.


When i saw this promo online, i decided, to organize my things, before they file up and i may lose them forever.. whether i win or lose... 


I plan to take a before and an after picture for motivation...hahaha... if i can find my memory card...


We'll goodluck to me... and project "Clean up" here we go...

My first...after a long time..

Life really has its own way of healing...

It feels like, this is my first time to blog, after all that happened in my life from the past months..

Now, i am working again and getting on my toes again..

Im creating a new me and starting to gain confidence again..

Started on another life project and i hope i will do well...

At 2am in the morning, i felt alive and wanted to share my insights again.. hope to make it frequent..

I stumbled upon this blog.. i was inspired by the writer's mood and how she writes..i hope i could emulate her enthusiast in blogging... This got me blogging again...

So this, as a start, im joining her blog and hope to win a bag... http://bebengisms.blogspot.com/2012/07/first-time-is-always-exciting.html

You can join too.. and start something new...

How do i feel today? ( 14 days after my baby died )

i feel i'm losing my sanity.....

everyday, i always woke up around 4am to 5am... then i  look at my 2 boys and suddenly begin to cry...  

My mind keeps on rewinding on the days that i was in the hospital and about to give birth to Keann...

Thinking of the What Ifs... 

Thinking of the possibility that i am holding my 3rd son, alive and healthy...

Feeling guilty for giving my family the hurt of losing a family member...

Feeling guilty for making so many wrong decisions... for being hard-headed and not listening to others...

And then i will fall asleep, tired of crying...

By day...

I would stay inside my room or just inside the house...

I don't want anyone to see me, I cannot look into their eyes, because i always see in their eyes how sorry they are for me... for my family.. and that added to the guilt that i feel...

With mel...

He would let me cry in his shoulder... And i feel he's trying to be strong, after all that happened, for me and for our kids...

I don't have the courage to tell him how guilty i feel because it might add to the depression that we both feel...

and being not open with him breaks my heart...

i thought, maybe, one of these days, when the hurt is less felt and we have fully accepted it all, then maybe i could openly talk about it...

 When i'm with my kids, this is the only time i feel normal... Their playfulness and the noise they make around the house, numbs the pain.

But there are times when they ask for their baby brother, and then the hurt comes back again. 

These past few days, i constantly needed their hugs and "i love yous".. and it never fail to make me feel better...

Why does it feel like i'm losing my sanity? Because, i still feel the hurt and the pain, but at the same time, i have to feel numb and be better for my family... Inspite of the tears, i have to control it and still smile, for my kids..

Inspite of my What Ifs, i have to believe and have faith... 

for now i know, i can only survive if i stayed sane.

To my baby Keann Deangelo R. Salvan....

You came as a surprise to mama and papa, But we accepted you with all our heart..

The nine months with you were the busiest mama and papa had been...

While you were in my womb, mama and papa were having our ups and down, but thanks to you, we held on..

And from then on, we started planning for our family's future. We were gettting ready for your arrival to the family...

Kuya Karl and Kent, every night practiced singing your lullaby. Kuya Karl even composed a song for you...

The Three Little Butterfly
--------------------------
The three little butterfly, the three happy butterfly.
They happy get a nectar and back to the honey house..
The friend the bee are happy....
lubeelubeebuuuu...



Every night they would talk to you thru mommy's tummy, and you talk back thru your taekwando kicks.

Mama and papa and your kuyas cant wait to hold you in our arms....

The days before your arrival were the longest, still. Mommy and kuya kenneth would walk and walk until you came...

When it was time to go to the hospital, mom waited in labor for 2 hours, but you never came...

Until at 10:51 of Feb 5, 2012 you were lifted from mama's tummy thru a caesarian section, that left a scar that we will forever share....

As my whole body was shivering from the meds, i was patiently waiting for your cry, But it never came...

On the morning of Feb 7, when your doctor personally came to me and explain your situation, i felt something was wrong.

But we were hopeful that within 72 hours or more there is still hope.....

By 4pm, i felt it...

When lola started preping me to see you at NICU, i braced myself. I pretended to be strong for you....

While i was holding you, i felt you heard my lullubye i was singing for you. The one we prepared to sing for you, because
you hold my hand back....

THANK YOU KEANN FOR WAITING FOR MAMA....

I whisphered to God and asked for a miracle..and i realized YOU ARE ALREADY MY MIRACLE...You have waited painstakingly for mama to be ok, before you said your goodbye...

Our 20minutes together was not enough but you made mama happy nevertheless...

I love you my baby angel, and you will be forever in our hearts...

First Blog for 2012

At 11:20pm of January 28, 2012, im starting to blog again....

I haven't written a blog since i can remember last year... Maybe because, i was so busy thinkin' of so many things... personal and professional...

Currently, im still in turmoil... With a new baby coming in, im not sure of things to come.... But im equally excited...

So, with my old and new journal at hand, im going to evaluate first what happened to me last 2011..

As written in my 2011 journal, my goals were:

1. Organize our 2010 savings

2. Buy a bike and learn to bike

3. 2011 savings plan

4. Acquire new house in Laguna

5. Renovate Karl's room

6. Renew my Passport

7. Salvan Family Trip

8. Improve health and diet plan

9. Buy a flash kit for our SLR.

And out of the 9 targets -- got only 3 checks!!!  I was able to organize our 2010 and 2011 savings and started our way on buying our new house in Laguna.

Here are the reasons why i was not able to reach all goals:

First: Yes, i was able to improve my health and diet plan, by joining and winning the Biggest Loser Challenge again at work, but, by end of the year, i gained almost half of my weight, because of the baby bump...

Second, Yes, i was able to organize our 2011 and 2011 savings, but have to cash it all out as downpayment for the house we are buying.. So by end of 2011, we have no savings at all....

Third, By May 2011, my brother announced that he's going to get married by December, so aside for my giving birth by January 2012, i have to financially prepare for the expenses of attending and sharing for my brother's wedding. So there goes, my budget for my flash kit lens and bike.

Obviously, my plans to learn the bike is very impossible given the baby bump i was having. Plus the Salvan Family Trip was cancelled because we have to priority budget for the house-buying project. But, i consider our trip to Isabel last December our best Family Trip ever!

But given the 3 goals reached out of 9, i think it was worth it. By end of the year, we were able to acquire DOAS from the seller and on our way in transferring the title to our name.  God is also good because by end of the year, our property, though not yet in our name, already is earning income. Not bad at all.

So, we bid 2011 goodbye, and started looking forward to the new year. After taking care of 2011 plans, we are looking forward to 2012. Here is what to come:

New Baby Boy. All plans are now for the welcoming of our new baby boy. Mel started to renovate the house, from Karl's room to the sala, to the kitchen. The two kuyas were overly excited to meet their "baby bunso"

 Financially, this year will all be savings to pay-off loans. Not sure if we can make it, but i always believe that He will never let me down. I'm still optimistic that we'll close all loans by end of the year.

Major Travel Plans for the family will still be put on hold this year, but will definitely make sure that family bonding will not be compromised.

No major purchase plans also. But we believe that God will give us more blessing this year..

I'm looking forward for my Maternity Leave. My last one. Will take this opportunity to bond more with the family and take a rest from my professional life. I'll just wish my colleagues will respect that and give me privacy while on ML.

Will also take this time to look for other earning opportunities, while on leave. I feel that my position in the company i am in is being compromised and needed to look on the other direction...

So, in short, this year would be more challenges for me and the family.  But, i believe, challenges are there to make you strong as an individual and as a family. God will never give me challenges that i cannot handle, so  i am facing 2012 with strong faith.

I just have to pray more, prioritize, focus on the blessings, be healthy for the family, be more patient, get organized, put aside savings for the rainy days and pick my battles properly.

So 2012... bring it on....

The WebDIS Project

I named this as the title of my latest blog entry because, this project started it all.

This blog is an expression of me, and not of the company that i represent.
This blog entry does not aim to affect or destroy my company or my standing in the company(i hope!),
but i am to share my personal experiences and hopefully learn from it.

I am not blogging about the work details of this project, instead, i will
share on how this project changed my life, personally.

My boss says, this is my "baby", but little did he know that this "baby" almost
ruined my life...

By the start of the project, i was excited. I had to attend sunday school, for 2 months,
to study a new programming language... I realized, i will cut my weekend time
with my family, but i thought of it as a sacrifice, so i could be better on
my craft and eventually be able to get high pay for it...

After the training, we have been given a 3-month deadline to put the site
up and running. These entails 3 months of staying late at the office,
working on weekends, and even working at home after going home late.

I had to talk to my husband and make him emphatize with me on my on-going project.
He had to take the kids to their doctor's checkup. Or fetch them at school.
Or go on leave, when no yaya is available for the kids. I felt my motherly
duties were transfered to him.

That's not all...

I have to endure many emotional stress in the office just by dealing with
co-workers who were equally pressured by the deadline. There came a time, when
i cant take it anymore and cried my heart out on a corner desk hiding from my boss
and colleagues.

I also had to endure being called "bwiset" because i was just doing what i
was instructed to do. I had to be the antagonist for the whole project just
to get all tasks done.

When the project was up and running, i thought i could finally rest.

But i was wrong...

The same time that the project was so demanding because of the support and training
needed with implementing a new project, i was mending the effects of the many
months that i was not there for my family....

Yes... I'm blaming this project for almost breaking my marriage....

The months that i was not there for my husband..
while he took care of the kids and the house.

he became addicted to facebook and chatting.

he never mind my absence because he was busy chatting and facebooking...

let's just say, he found company of others thru the net, in my absence.

when i discovered this, i was hurt. at first i was so angry at my husband, for being weak to temptations.
i cried every night, thinking how my husband betrayed my trust and our marriage vows..

i wanted out.

i even kicked him out of our home, for i felt, i was cheated in my own house.

but he never left.

everynight, i would cry in bed, he would hear me and tell me how sorry he was.
but his sorry was never enough...i'll still cry, i can't sleep until morning..

at night, i would cry. while i had to be ok by day at work.

i became tired. tired of hurting. tired of being tired.

it was good that he never left the house. i was able to see how sorry he was by being with the kids.
my heart constantly hurt seeing him with my kids, and seeing how beautiful my family was.
and seeing it fall apart.

i had to stop hurting and move on, for my kids and for my self.
i have decided to end it all with my husband and live anew.

i decided to stop ignoring him and talk to him and end it.

but it all changed, when i heard his side.

i continously told him, how hurt i am for what he did. and asked him, why did he do it.

he told me... it was because... I WAS NOT ALWAYS THERE...
in my absence, he look for other company...
he felt, we were growing apart...
and instead of coming to me, to the BUSY ME, he found refuge to the company of others...

he has no-one to share his thoughts to.
he felt alone.

after hearing this... i still blamed him..
i blamed him for being weak..
for giving in to temptation..
for not coming to me instead..
i would have appreciated it if he would chat with me instead..
or text or call me instead...

i blamed him for being addicted to facebook and chatting..
and for being easily tempted...

i also told him how disgusted i am, for being "un-pure" as my partner.

How can i live a life with him, not knowing that he would never do this again...
How will i know that i am the only one he desires for now..
...
...

Days passed, and it still hurt. We were living in one house, not talking to each other.
And making the kids not notice. Even my In-Laws noticed, but didn't say anything.

Being in this situation really hurts...

Seeing how the family you've started is little by little falling apart. It breaks my heart, knowing
that my kids will never have a complete family. I still cried every night realizing
that the baby inside me would never experience a complete family...


to be continued....

Another Chapter of my Life, Another Journey

Just when my career is shaky....

Just when we are having marital problems...(who don't?)

Just when we are having domestic problems... (wanted:yaya!)

Just when financials are unstable...(kaka enroll lang..)

God gave me something to be happy and excited about...

A blessing of a new baby...



The first time i had a hunch, i put it off, until i was 3 weeks delayed. Up until now, i'm still in a state-of-denial and what-nows... (This blog was drafted June 21)


That early morning, after looking at the 2-strip pregnancy test, i went back to bed, and all my mind could think about was im not ready... im not ready... I tried to sleep, but tears suddenly fell  from my eyes... and i suddently wisphered "sorry" to my eldest son...

i felt guilty that my motherly love would need to be divided into 3 instead of 2.

i felt guilty that i am not financially ready to support 3 of them at the moment...that i may not give them a comfortable life anymore..

its bad enough that i spent 12 hours or more at work, with so little time with my 2 boys and now with another heart to break by not being with them all the time..i felt incompetent for this little one inside me...

plus i feel in my body, that i am not healthy-ready to embark on the hormonal changes this will bring... at 33, i feel that my body may not have sufficient energy and nutrients to pass on to this new little one...

but as days go by (today is July 19), i began to accept. i began to feel excited for this new addition to the family. my hubby is no more than supportive of me, with my sudden mood changes and food cravings. Our parents were all praying for a baby girl this time and equally excited as well..

as for me... given the unplanned circumstances and timing, i believe this is a blessing... so i learned to accept. maybe i could never be able to plan a travel for the next 2 years or to pursue my learning to bike plan, but it's ok. 

Life is still good ang beautiful.

Thank you Lord for the blessing...

Best Things in Life are Free - from Animetric's World

The review on the Pevonia Botanica Dry Oil Body Moisturizer was good enough to make me buy one for myself, however, being the frugal girl that i am, budget is my main concern..hehehe... So when i read that she's givin away samples, i'm ecstatic!!! I'm trying my luck here..

Why do i need the Pevonia Botanica Spa-At-Home Essentials Pack?    It's embarrassing really, to tell it here, but i have to admit it, I AM STRESSED! as in... at work, at home. I can't concentrate on anything anymore... and i feel, this is not me... I have been assigned on a project lately and with a limited deadline and resources, so i stayed at work late every day, seldom see my boys awake at home.... I really really really need that spa...im sure my hubby would be willing to give me that free of service, but even better if with the Pevonia Botanica Spa-At-Home Essentials Pack.... 

With no time and budget to go to expensive Spas to treat myself, i am really really praying that i win this pack.  I'm sure, this will clearly clear my mind and be able to focus...

You may also try your luck here...

Read on..

Pevonia Botanica Dry Oil Body Moisturizer + win P5k worth of products!

http://animetric.blogspot.com/2011/06/pevonia-botanica-dry-oil-body.html 

One thing the most luxurious spas in the Philippines have in common is the fact that they use Pevonia Botanica products for their treatments. Some of those establishments are Quan Spa @ Marriott Manila, The Spa, Suriya Spa... just to name a few. In fact I remember my therapist using Pevonia products when I had a seaweed wrap at Quan Spa.

Anyhow, Pevonia Botanica let me take home my own bottle of Pevonia Botanica Dry Oil Body Moisturizer to try. I'm not a lotion person although I follow a skincare regimen for my face like a religion every single day. I guess I don't like the idea and the feeling of layering on something thick and creamy all over my body especially since it's so hot and humid this summer.

Ah but Pevonia Dry Oil Body Moisturizer is different. For starters it comes in spray form.

I was alarmed by how shiny it was when I first sprayed it on. It's still oil after all. But the thing is, when you spread it all over the skin surface it's absorbed very quickly.

After a few moments of massaging Pevonia Dry Oil Body Moisturizer into the skin, you will be amazed at how silky smooth it feels. There's no sticky or greasy sensation. It smells so good too since it's imbued with the relaxing scent of lavender and chamomile -- perfect for bedtime! I don't exaggerate when I say this is the ultimate in skin hydration. A bottle costs P3,120.

Now we come to the second and most awaited part of my post, hehe. See that box above? It's the Pevonia Botanica Spa-At-Home Essentials Pack. It contains everything you need to have a luxury spa experience in the comfort of your own home. Since I want to share the Pevonia Botanica experience with my dear readers, I've decided to give it away.

All the products are stored inside the white Pevonia skincare pouch so you can tote them along anytime, anywhere.

Each kit contains:

• Pevonia Lavender Votive Candle
• Pevonia Silky Skin Body Scrub
• Pevonia "Anti-Stress" Bath Salts
• Pevonia "Anti-Stress" Bath and Shower Gel
• Pevonia Preserve Body Moisturizer

You're going to feel so calm and relaxed plus have the benefit of skin that feels like a million dollars with the Pevonia Botanica Spa-At-Home Essentials Pack. The set retails for P5,190.

Pevonia Botanica products are available at selected spas nationwide. They are all natural, paraben-free, and not tested on animals. :)

So what do you have to do to win the Pevonia Botanica Spa-At-Home Essentials Pack?

1. You have to be a fan of both Animetric's World and Pevonia Botanica Philippines on Facebook.
   
2. You have to follow both @animetric and @pevoniaph on Twitter.
   
3. Share this contest on Facebook or Twitter. For Facebook, click on the Share button on top of this post. On the blank box above the title of the blog post, tag Animetric's World and Pevonia Botanica Philippines then post "Animetric's World is giving away a spa treat worth over P5k from Pevonia Botanica Philippines!". For Twitter, just tweet about the contest and the url.
   
   To tag, type in the “@” symbol then follow it with the word “Animetric” This will prompt a drop-down menu box which will present you “Animetric's World”. Click that and you should see “Animetric's World” become a blue link. Do the same for Pevonia Botanica Philippines.
   
4. Tell me what you think of the Pevonia Botanica Dry Oil Body Moisturizer and why you need the Pevonia Botanica Spa-At-Home Essentials Pack. You can do so several ways: tweet me the answer, post a comment below, or even blog about it. Just let me know about your entry by posting the url of your tweet or blog. Please include your name and email when posting your entries on the comments section below so I can contact you if you win. Winning entry will be determined via judging.
   
5. Contest is open to all Philippine residents. I will ship the prize to the winner. Deadline for entries is June 20, 2011.
   

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Best Things in Life are Free - from Digital Catharsis

When i read about this blog, i was hesitant to believe. Who would be that generous enough to give out $100 just like that.... but Mr Digital Catharsis is...and i believe he has a big heart for doin' this.. Advance happy birthday Mr Digital Catharis!

Yes! again, it's true... So i'm trying my luck for the $100 prize... 

You may want to try your luck too...

Read on...

My Bday Give-away!

http://digitalcatharsis.wordpress.com/2011/05/29/my-bday-give-away/

By nelson RN 10 Comments

Categories: MY BLOGGING WORLD
Tags: blog contests

Hi guys! A month from now, I’ll be celebrating my birthday and as a treat to all my followers and site visitors, I’d like to launch a contest here on my site. And I’m giving away…

Yup, a hundred dollars will be given away to the lucky winner! (The sponsor will be disclosed later). The amount will go straight to your bank account! For Philippine residents, the equivalent amount in pesos will be remitted.
So are you now excited to know the contest mechanics? Here it goes…
1.  The contest is open to anyone, as long as you have your own blog site. Participants should be at least 18 years old. A bank account will be necessary, but the details will not be taken from the participant until he/she is declared the winner.
2.  Point-system is going to be used for this contest. Each participants will given points for each site activity.
3.  5 points are given if you post about this contest on your site and invite your friends. If you have multiple blog sites, each post will be given five points. I need to know that you own several sites so the points would collect under one name only. You can mention that on your posts.
4.  4 points are given if you subscribe to the site. If you are a previous subscriber and is joining the contest, the points will be given to you.
5.  3 points will be given for posting a comment on any of the previous posts on this site. If you have commented before, they will not be counted. Only comments posted after today’s launch will be counted.
6.  1 point will be given for clicking the “like” button at the end of any of the previous posts. This part  applies to WordPress users only.
7.  It will be difficicult to count the points if you have many usernames, so 1 username per person only. So if you are using different usernames for your multiple sites, I might not be able to count them as coming from one person only. The points will be separated into the different usernames.
8.  In case more than one person ties on the first place, I will choose the winner based on the contents of his posts and comments.
9.  In case the winner does not have a bank account, he/she will be contacted by email to arrange on how the prize will be claimed.
10. I will have the right to disregard or not count the points for certain comments and posts (eg. not related to the article, annoying)
11.  The contest will close on June 28, 2011 @ 12 midnight Philippine time. Contest winner will be chosen on 01 July 2011. The winner will be contacted by email to arrange on how the cash prize will be remitted.
**********************************
Actually, this is the first time I am doing a contest on my blog and I am not sure if I there are rules out there that I might be violating, or I should consider. I just thought that this is just for fun, and there’s no advertisements or products involved, so I guess there’s nothing wrong with this. But just in case, I need to know something, please email me at nelson_0628@yahoo.com. Questions will be entertained as well. Any feed backs will be highly appreciated!

My Kind of Dad

Philstar.com.ph had a contest to be posted on their Father's day issue.. and this is my entry.. i hope i win...

My Kind of Dad

When mom left us when i was still 3, and my 2 other siblings, both boys, were 2 & 1 to work abroad, my father was the one who took care of us for almost 25 years. Now i have a family of my own and he still took care of me and my family.  My dad had a Mass Comm degree then, but he chose to settle in the province and
be a farmer, to take care of the Land and secure it for his children. When i was old enough to understand things, i hear my father cry because he knows he cannot give us what we always wanted, but he doesn't know, is that, he is all we need.
Because of him, we had valued anything we had. I want my father to have a break from taking care of us, and let us take care of him this time,that's why i want to give him the Feast for the Family man c/o Robinsons Supermarket. He really really deserves it.

I love you dad!  This one's for you....

 

Contest mechanics below..read on..

My Kind of Dad essay contest

Share8

Image was taken from zulva.com

Can you describe your dad in 300 words or less?

Well, make sure it's creative, heart-warming and touching because Philippine Star and Robinsons is giving away a P10,000 shopping spree to six lucky dads. What's great is that you can choose what your dad will win:

a. Pampering treat from Robinsons Department store
b. Tool kit from Handyman
c. Feast for the family man c/o Robinsons Supermarket
d. Techie dad showcase from Robinsons Appliances
e. Toy collection from Toys R Us
f. Gifts for dads from True Value

So here's what you need to do, write a 300-word essay explaining why your dad is the kind of guy who deserve any of the following prizes.  Send your entries to mykindofdad@philstar.com.ph on or before June 3, 2011 together with the following details:

- Name, age and address of sender
- Contact info of sender
- Name and address of your dad
- Prize preference

Winners must make themselves available on June 10, 2011 for the prize turnover and agree to publish his/ her story in the June 19 issue of Philippine Star.

Mommy Duty -- Menu Planner for May to June 4

One of my chores as a mother is my weekly menu planning. And i've read that this is such a hot topic among mothers. So since i'm religiously doin' this every Saturday morning for my family, might as well post it here, so it can help other moms as well..

This is part of my family savings plan. Every payday, i set aside P2000 for the food, P1000 for the groceries... AND I STICK TO IT, as much as i can.

This week, i have nothing left in the ref, so i have i'm starting my menu from scratch... Read on..

Saturday:

Lunch : Adobo

Dinner:Beef Nilaga

Sunday:

B: Pansit Habhab. Hubby bought three of these from Lucban Quezon during his trip to the Pahiyas

L: Igado

D: Chopseuy

Monday:

B: Fried Chx

L: Misua with Patola

D: Fried Galunggong

Tuesday:

B: Omelet

L: Corned Beef

D: Fried Daing na Bangus

Wednesday:

B: Tortang Talong

L: Chx Tinola

D: Pakbet

Thursday:

B: Daing na Bangus

L&D: Singang na Baboy

Friday:

B: Onion & Tomato Omelet

L: Sotanghon

D: Chx Gata

Saturday:

B:Sopas

I have recently heard that i have to do away from meat and more on vegetable. If i have to eat meat, should be chicken or fish. So this menu was inspired by that.

I will try to post upcoming menu whenever my schedule permits. At first i was hesitant, coz the whole world will know how "kuripot" i am... but it may help others also...and that's what matters..

And also, i want to remember doing things for my family, when im already old and cant remember it. hehehe...

This can also be my reference, when i'm doing my planning and i ran out of ideas for my menu... 

So...Till next menu planning...